Newsweak | Tag Archive

Tag Archives | Wikileaks

Wikileaks: Santa Claus Is a ‘Conspiracy Perpetrated by Parents On Their Children, Aided By Multinationals’

NEW YORK (The Voice of Reason) — Santa Claus is a conspiracy perpetrated on children by their parents, Wikileaks is to claim later in the week, to coincide with the peak Christmas shopping rush.

Assange Regrets Leaking Prison Breakout Plan

LONDON, Eng. (SatireWire.com) – WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange was in the hospital wing of Wandsworth Prison today after being unable to keep himself from divulging details of a planned breakout by fellow inmates.

Wikileaks Creator Has Blockbuster Account Suspended

LONDON, Eng. (Daily Fortnight) — Blockbuster have announced they have suspended the company account of Wikileaks founder Julian Assange after several outstanding payments went unpaid for the month of November.

WikiLeaks Attempts to Expose Palin’s Thoughts, Finds Nothing

NEW YORK (Borowitz Report) — That’s the bombshell from fugitive founder Julian Assange, who said that after months of hacking former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin’s brain, WikiLeaks has come up empty.

WikiLeaks to Post Obama’s Birth Certificate from Kenya

AUSTRALIA (Unconfirmed Sources) — Julian Assange has stated “I have a copy of the Obama Birth Certificate and I believe people will be shocked.”

U.S. Orders Diplomats to Stop Telling Truth Until Further Notice

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – In the first major policy fallout from the WikiLeaks disclosures, the State Department has ordered all U.S. diplomats to “cease and desist telling the truth until further notice.”

America Forced Into Witness Protection Program Following Wikileaks Scandal

UNDISCLOSED LOCATION (Random Perspective) — The United States of America has been forced to assume a new identity and relocate following the leaking of highly sensitive documentation to the world’s press that potentially endanger the safety of the nation. While the details of the move have been kept highly secretive the public first came aware of the relocation when Canada awoke late Sunday evening to notice it had a new coastline.