Tag Archives | weather

Florida Residents Brace For Fifth Straight Day Of Sun

MIAMI, Fla. (CAP News) – Area meteorologists are warning sun-weary residents to prepare for yet another day of sunshine and 80-degree temperatures in a winter that has already seen record-breaking good weather.

Read more at CAP News

February 9, 2011 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Snowy Conditions Proving Hazardous For Nation’s Idiots

NORTHEAST, U.S. (The Onion) — Latest estimates show that 18 idiots in the region have already been afflicted with frostbite after locking themselves outside in their underwear, and another 12 have been injured when they jumped off their roofs into what they thought were deep snowdrifts.

December 29, 2010 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Pat Robertson: Snow Is God’s Way Of Punishing Americans Who Were Planning To Drive To Do Something Gay

VIRGINIA BEACH, Virginia (The Borowitz Report) – Rev. Pat Robertson sparked controversy in today’s broadcast of his 700 Club program when he claimed that God created the blizzard currently battering the Northeast “to punish Americans who were planning to drive to do something gay.”

Read more at The Borowitz Report

December 27, 2010 · Read full story · Comments { 1 }

Winter Weather Expected to Dominate Conversations of Boring People

NEW YORK, NY (The Borowitz Report) – Tedious observations about the severe winter weather are expected to dominate the conversations of uninteresting people for the next 24 to 48 hours, boredom experts warned today.

Read more at The Borowitz Report

December 26, 2010 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Snowman Reveals Weight Loss Secrets

LONDON, Eng. (Daily Fortnight) — After years of speculation, a once overweight snowman has revealed the secrets behind his rapid weight loss.

Read more at Daily Fortnight.

December 5, 2010 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }
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