Steve Jobs Resigns After Realizing Technology Has Gone As Far As It Can
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Steve Jobs Resigns After Realizing Technology Has Gone As Far As It Can
August 26, 2011 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }
FDA Official: “Just Eat A Goddamn Vegetable”
WASHINGTON, DC (The Onion) – Deputy FDA Commissioner Steve Hoyer made an announcement today urging Americans to “just eat a goddamned vegetable once in a while”.
January 19, 2011 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }
Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Game Features Awaiting Orders, Repairing Trucks
ENCINO, Calif. (The Onion) — Developers are putting the finishing touches on Modern Warfare 3, which they say will be the most true-to-life military game ever created with the majority of gameplay spent hauling equipment and filling out paperwork.
January 4, 2011 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }
Snowy Conditions Proving Hazardous For Nation’s Idiots
NORTHEAST, U.S. (The Onion) — Latest estimates show that 18 idiots in the region have already been afflicted with frostbite after locking themselves outside in their underwear, and another 12 have been injured when they jumped off their roofs into what they thought were deep snowdrifts.
December 29, 2010 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }
New Anti-Smoking Ads Warn Teens ‘It’s Gay To Smoke’
WASHINGTON, DC (The Onion) — The CDC’s new anti-smoking campaign effectively reaches teens with a simple message: if you smoke, people are going to know you’re totally crazy for butt sex.
December 19, 2010 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }
