WASHINGTON, DC (The Onion) – Deputy FDA Commissioner Steve Hoyer made an announcement today urging Americans to “just eat a goddamned vegetable once in a while”.
ENCINO, Calif. (The Onion) — Developers are putting the finishing touches on Modern Warfare 3, which they say will be the most true-to-life military game ever created with the majority of gameplay spent hauling equipment and filling out paperwork.
NORTHEAST, U.S. (The Onion) — Latest estimates show that 18 idiots in the region have already been afflicted with frostbite after locking themselves outside in their underwear, and another 12 have been injured when they jumped off their roofs into what they thought were deep snowdrifts.
WASHINGTON, DC (The Onion) — The CDC’s new anti-smoking campaign effectively reaches teens with a simple message: if you smoke, people are going to know you’re totally crazy for butt sex.
- Teenage Boy Continues Search For Topless Sunbather On Google Earth September 12, 2011
- Conspiracy Theorists Deny 9-11 Anniversary September 11, 2011
- Dishes Wash Themselves September 9, 2011