Tag Archives | school

Chicago High School Replaces Gym Equipment with Nintendo Wii Stations

CHICAGO, Ill. (GlossyNews.com) –- Chicago’s George Washington High School is the first in the nation to bring its gymnasium into the 21st century by replacing all of its gym equipment, including balls, bats, paddles and nets with two big-screen Nintendo Wii Stations.

Read more at Glossy News.

December 5, 2010 · Read full story · Comments { 1 }

School Field Trip Tour of Slaughterhouse Traumatizes Children

OMAHA, Neb. (Newsweak.com Exclusive) — Eighteen grade 5 students of Mavis Beacon Elementary School are undergoing counseling after a school field trip visit to a beef slaughterhouse. The children reportedly were horrified to see how cows were processed into beef. Some of the students vomited, and most cried.

Their teacher, Maxwell Barnes, faces disciplinary action for organizing the school field trip. “I didn’t see anything wrong with it.” Barnes stated. “Earlier this year we had a field trip to a chocolate factory. Kids have a curiosity about where their food comes from. I don’t think there should be anything wrong with showing them where meat comes from.”

The children were escorted through the facility from the loading bay, where cattle enter the building, through to the stunning process where the animals receive a pneumatic bolt to the brain, rendering them brain dead. “Some of the kids started crying then.” said slaughterhouse foreman Dan Smith. “We told them it was all a natural part of how beef is made and ends up in yummy hamburgers, but that didn’t seem to help much.”

The field trip then went awry after the brain dead animals were chained up by their back legs and then cut into to be bled to death. “I saw one little boy throw up.” Smith said. “And then after that there was screaming and running and all these other kids throwing up all over the place. We tried to calm them down but it was out of control by then. These kids were just freaked out, they didn’t even finish the tour.”

November 21, 2010 · Read full story · Comments { 345 }

Department Of Education Study Finds Teaching These Little Shits No Longer Worth It

WASHINGTON (The Onion) — The U.S. Department of Education released a comprehensive, nationwide evaluation of American schools Monday indicating that attempts to teach absolutely anything to these little shits is just a huge waste of everybody’s time.

Read more at The Onion.

November 15, 2010 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }
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