Tag Archives | newspapers

Murdoch Scandal Proves Existence Of Newspapers

LONDON, UK (CAP News) — The phone-hacking scandal that brought down media mogul Rupert Murdoch’s News Of The World newspaper has shocked millions who had no idea that newspapers were still being published.

Read more at CAP News

July 24, 2011 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }

USA Today to Stop Pretending to be Real Newspaper

NEW YORK, NY (The Chicago Dope) — At the end of the year, the USA Today newspaper will discontinue its failed quarter century-long trial run of reporting the news.  Deliberations about its core mission have led to plans to revert back to its original format of crosswords, assortments of puzzles and word games, and ads touting work-from-home scams.

Read more at The Chicago Dope.

December 20, 2010 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Editor admits posting Lindsay Lohan stories “just to boost readership”

NEW YORK (Newsweak.com Exclusive) – A local editor of a mainstream media news website revealed today that he approved the inclusion of Lindsay Lohan stories on the front page of his website not because they were newsworthy, but because he knew it would increase readership.

“I couldn’t help it.” The editor revealed. “It’s just that she’s like catnip to a lot of our readers. They can’t look away, it’s what we in the news room call ‘news candy’. You can’t have just one.”

Lohan, whose early film career showed some promise — but has since done nothing creatively notable — has been under constant media scrutiny for years due to her off-screen antics including clubbing, drunken behavior, a high-profile lesbian relationship, rehab and court dates associated with alcohol and drug use, and jail time. The editor, who requested his name and the name of his site be kept anonymous, is the first editor to go on record admitting that Lohan is actually unremarkable except for internet viewers who cannot seem to stop reading about the troubled starlet.

“It totally goes against everything I learned as a journalist.” The editor remarked. “But the news industry is so competitive now that it’s hard to turn away from such linkbait. I think most of our readers would say they don’t read any stories about her, but my data shows that when we include a feature about Lindsay, the hits go up. Stories about her belong on TMZ or People, not on any reputable news site like ours. We’re basically just selling our souls now.”

The editor noted one particular series of stories he felt shame about posting. “Those stories that came out when Lindsay sued E*Trade over the baby commercial with the talking milkaholic baby named ‘Lindsay’. That was so obviously Lindsay being a complete attention whore and we in the media totally took it and ran with it.”

He said he wasn’t entirely certain why Lohan attracts so much attention. “Maybe it’s the void left behind from the Britney Spears train wreck. Britney faded pretty fast but she’s picked herself up and is doing well now and although Lindsay hasn’t accomplished as much as Britney has, it’s still the same ‘Cinderella’ story gone horribly wrong. Basically once Britney got better the public started watching Lindsay as the new sinking ship instead.”
“Yeah, a lot of people are pretty much douchebags that way.”
November 7, 2010 · Read full story · Comments { 1 }
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