Tag Archives | New York

Conspiracy Theorists Deny 9-11 Anniversary

NEW YORK, NY (The Daily Mash) – SEPTEMBER 11th conspiracy theorists have dismissed claims of the terrorist attack’s 10th anniversary.

“…there’s no way they could have destroyed the World Trade Center, because there’s no World Trade Center in New York. If there is then show it to me.”

Read more at The Daily Mash

September 11, 2011 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Disappointed New York Hurricane Survivors Relunctantly Return To Work On Monday

NEW YORK, NY (Newsweak.com Exclusive) – Many New Yorkers looking forward to being able to ditch work, using fake reasons related to Hurricane Irene, will now relunctantly have to return to their jobs on Monday.

“Oh man, my friends and I had this huge party planned on Sunday night. Now I have to set the frikken alarm to go to work in the morning.” said dejected twentysomething Manhattan resident Ted Cooper.

New York underwent an evacuation order starting Friday, an alert that was cancelled Sunday after it was apparent that New York would not be subject to damaging high winds and rain. Transit services that were shut down in preparation for Hurricane Irene’s arrival will mostly be in service on Monday. Aside from some minor street flooding New York city was spared any hurricane damage, or reasons for residents to miss work.

Even some chronically unemployed New Yorkers were affected. “It sucks.” said Josh Arnell, speaking from his Brooklyn apartment, “Me and my roommate bought a whole bunch of candles and a keg and were going to stay up all night and get so wasted with some buddies. Now it’s been called off because they have to go to work tomorrow. I don’t even have a job I can blow off. I feel totally gypped.”

August 28, 2011 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Nuclear Bomb Detonates During Rehearsal For ‘Spider-Man’ Musical

NEW YORK, NY (The Onion) — In yet another setback for the $65 million dollar Broadway musical Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark—a production plagued by multiple delays, poor early reviews, and severe injuries to its cast and crew—a thermonuclear device detonated during the first act of Tuesday night’s preview performance.

Read more at The Onion

January 5, 2011 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Stan Lee Was ‘Just Kidding’ About Spider-Man Musical

NEW YORK (CAP News) — Spider-Man creator Stan Lee, 87, admitted this week that he was “just kidding” when he suggested that producer Michael Cohl mount an elaborate multi-million-dollar Broadway musical based on his web-slinging character.

Read more at CAP News

December 21, 2010 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }
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