Tag Archives | irony

Circus Train Wreck Not Funny, Investigators Emphasize

ALTOONA, PA (The Onion) — Following the fiery derailment of a 56-car Ringling Bros. circus train Wednesday, hundreds of clowns, somersaulting acrobats, ringmasters on stilts, stampeding giraffes, and monkeys in colorful hats were seen fleeing the accident, which investigators stressed was a very serious matter and in no way funny.

Read more at The Onion

September 1, 2011 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Recently Discovered ‘Never Seen Before’ Photographs Of The Beatles A Lot Like Ones Seen Before, Says Expert

Washington, DC (The Voice of Reason) — A collection of new photographs of the Beatles from their tour of Washington DC in 1964 have been discovered, but their contents has been greeted with widespread disappointment amongst collectors who say that the photographs look pretty much like ones that have been kicking about for years.

Read more at The Voice of Reason

July 24, 2011 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Florida Residents Brace For Fifth Straight Day Of Sun

MIAMI, Fla. (CAP News) – Area meteorologists are warning sun-weary residents to prepare for yet another day of sunshine and 80-degree temperatures in a winter that has already seen record-breaking good weather.

Read more at CAP News

February 9, 2011 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Game Features Awaiting Orders, Repairing Trucks

ENCINO, Calif. (The Onion) — Developers are putting the finishing touches on Modern Warfare 3, which they say will be the most true-to-life military game ever created with the majority of gameplay spent hauling equipment and filling out paperwork.

January 4, 2011 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Apple Cancels Press Conference on iPhone Alarm Glitch after Steve Jobs Oversleeps

CUPERTINO, Calif. (The Borowitz Report) — Apple, Inc. cancelled a press conference today to address the glitch plaguing the iPhone’s alarm function when company chief Steve Jobs failed to show.

Read more at The Borowitz Report

January 3, 2011 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Voice-Activated GPS System Takes ‘Top Gun’ Soundtrack Fan Into The Danger Zone

LOS ANGELES, Calif. (The Onion) — Motorist Ken Boucher’s voice-activated navigation system flew him right into the Danger Zone today when it mistakenly responded to the Top Gun soundtrack playing on his car stereo. Boucher was attempting to drive to the local Home Depot when the automated GPS put his life in jeopardy by instead following commands of singer Kenny Loggins.

December 30, 2010 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Jesus Cancels Facebook Account Because Of Religious Nuts

PARTS UNKNOWN (Texas Cockroach) — Jesus of Nazareth announced yesterday that he is canceling his Facebook page due to a proliferation of “religious nuts” and the constant bombardment of his wall with “inane prayer requests for traffic lights to turn green, little league soccer games to be won, five o’clock to get here or so-and-so not to be present at the fitness club”.

Read more at Texas Cockroach

December 23, 2010 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Stan Lee Was ‘Just Kidding’ About Spider-Man Musical

NEW YORK (CAP News) — Spider-Man creator Stan Lee, 87, admitted this week that he was “just kidding” when he suggested that producer Michael Cohl mount an elaborate multi-million-dollar Broadway musical based on his web-slinging character.

Read more at CAP News

December 21, 2010 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Dogs Express Interest in Owning Michael Vick

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. (Sports Pickle) — “I would love to get Michael Vick in the future,” a Virginia Beach, Virginia pit bull told a local dog newspaper. “I think it would be a big step for me in the rehabilitation process.”

Read more at Sports Pickle

December 19, 2010 · Read full story · Comments { 1 }

Assange Regrets Leaking Prison Breakout Plan

LONDON, Eng. (SatireWire.com) – WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange was in the hospital wing of Wandsworth Prison today after being unable to keep himself from divulging details of a planned breakout by fellow inmates.

Read more at SatireWire.

December 8, 2010 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }
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