Tag Archives | basketball

Shaq Misses Entire Second Half With Pulled Pork Sandwich

CLEVELAND, Ohio (The Onion) — Cavaliers center Shaquille O’Neal suffered a frustrating setback during his team’s victory over the Toronto Raptors Tuesday night, when he was sidelined for the entire second half of the game with a pulled pork sandwich.

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December 24, 2010 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Pat Riley Glares At 1988 Bottle Of Hair Gel As He Mulls Return To Coaching

MIAMI, Fla. (The Onion) — While toweling off in front of his vanity mirror Monday, Miami Heat team president Pat Riley stared longingly at a bottle of L’Oréal Studio Line hair gel from 1988, pondering the idea of firing Erik Spoelstra and returning to his position as head coach.

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December 7, 2010 · Read full story · Comments { 1 }

Cleveland Announces 1,000 New Jobs with Opening of Anti-Lebron James T-Shirt Factory

CLEVELAND, Ohio (Sports Pickle) — Cleveland Mayor Frank G. Jackson held a press conference today to announce that 1,000 new jobs have come to the city with the opening of a new anti-Lebron James t-shirt factory on Cleveland’s east side.

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December 4, 2010 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Shaq Shows He Can Still Dominate Around Basket Of Fries

BOSTON, Mass. (The Onion) — In an impressive display of physical prowess, gutsy determination, and insatiable hunger, Celtics center Shaquille O’Neal proved all his doubters wrong Wednesday when the 38-year-old showed that he was still one of the most dominant big men around the basket of fries.

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November 25, 2010 · Read full story · Comments { 0 }
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