Universe Admits To Wronging Area Man His Entire Life

Universe Admits To Wronging Area Man His Entire Life

MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. (The Onion) — Following decades of allegations from the 44-year-old data processor, the vast conglomeration of all matter and energy known as the universe admitted Tuesday that it was directly responsible for every single hardship in the life of Dave Schwartz, and apologized for continually foiling him at every turn.

Read more at The Onion.

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