Absentminded Professor Says Cure For Cancer ‘Around Here Somewhere’

Absentminded Professor Says Cure For Cancer ‘Around Here Somewhere’

BALTIMORE, MD (The Onion) — John’s Hopkins University Professor Humbert E. Huggins revealed today that after decades of research that he had discovered a “100% infallible cure for cancer”, and that he is reasonably certain it is somewhere in his Baltimore Maryland home.

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